FNP: WASHINGTON POST HOSTS MOGUL MARCH

Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, DC:

FNP has learned that Donald Graham and Catharine Weymouth will host this years "March of the Moguls" under the banner of The Washington Post. This event has become an annual parade showcasing America's leading plutocrats.

The parade will begin at the home of The Washington Post, which is located in a building at 15th & L Streets, NW, Washington, D.C. From there it will proceed southward past the U.S. Treasury building. As the paraders proceed past this building, they will pause to hear a few words of welcome from President Obama and Secretary Tim Geithner.

According to sources high in the Obama Administration, each mogul will receive a $20 Double Eagle gold coin in mint condition as a gesture of "thanks" for all they have done for America. Due to unexpected hardship, Bernie Madoff will receive ten gold coins for services provided in past years.

After this presentation, the moguls will continue their march to the west lawn of the U.S. Capitol. They will be met by a combined assemblage of Senators and Representatives, who will listen respectfully as the moguls sing: "God Gave This Land To We."

After this exuberant songfest, the moguls will be treated to canapes and cocktails. Parked discreetly to the side of the Capitol grounds, scores of limousines will await the weary but merry moguls.

The parade will be led by Donald Graham, Warren Buffet and Catharine Weymouth. Following this trio will be: Walter Shorenstein (San Francisco), Richard Swig (San Francisco), Scott Seligman (Michigan), Martin Selig (Seattle), Jack Benaroya (Seattle), Arthur Cohen (Arlen Realty...), a Samuel J. Lefrak family representative (N.Y.C.), representatives of the Uris, Durst, Tishman, Rudin, Horowitz, Ravitch, Minskoff, Milstein families (N.Y.C.), Sol Goldman and Frederic Rose family representatives (N.Y.C.), Aaron Gural, Leo and Alexander Bing, the Reznicks, Fishers, Koeppels, Wiens, Cohens and Silverstein family representatives (N.Y.C.), Steven Gaines (The Hamptons), Ben Tobin, Jack Weiler, Frederic and Earle Mack (N.Y./N.J.), Aaron Ziegelman (N.Y.C.), Jerry Speyer, Bernard Mendik (N.Y.C.), Steven Green (N.Y.C.), Albert M. Greenfield (Philadelphia), the Hellman family (Los Angeles), the Sam Zell family (Chicago), Neil Bluhm, Judd Malkin, Philip Klutznik (Chicago), Robert Smith (D.C.), Robert Kogod (D.C.) the Haft family representative (D.C.), Mort Zuckerman (D.C.), Albert Abramson (D.C.), Ted Lerner (D.C.), Bernard and Carol Gewirz(D.C.), Robert Rosenthal (D.C.), Estelle Gelman (D.C.), Hermen Greenberg (D.C.), representatives of the Abe Polin family (D.C.), Myer and Adrienne Arsht Feldman (D.C.), Joel Meisel (D.C.), Barry Cohen (D.C.), Jerry Moore (Houston), David Mincberg (Houston), Laurence Hirsch (CEO of Centex), a representative of the Mark Goldweitz family (Boston), Jerome Rappaport (Boston), the Krupp family representative (Boston), Stephen Karp (Boston), Julian Cohen (D.C.), Bruce Beal (Boston), Steve Fishman (Boston), Ron Drucker (Boston), Dick Friedman (Boston), Alan Leventhal (Boston), Edwin Sidman (Boston), the representative of the Simon Konover family (N.E.), Richard Penzer (Pittsburgh), William Adler (Chicago), Jona Goldrich (L.A.), Abraham Lurie (L.A.),Mark Nathanson (L.A.), Craig Robins (Miami), Tony Goldman (N.Y.), John Price (Utah), Sally Barry (Denver), Jordan Perlmutter (Denver), Shaul Baruch (Denver), Phil and Harley Schrager (Omaha), Mort Friedman (Sacramento), Sheldon Solow (N.Y.C.), David Steiner (N.Y.C.), and many Canadian families, such as the Bronfman, Reichman, Munk, Mernick and Belzberg, who control vast properties in America, will send representatives. There are many other prominent moguls - not listed here - who will attend.

Donald Graham was overheard gloating about the march at a recent dinner with Emil and Warren at The Boss Lady. This posh restaurant in Georgetown, named after Katherine Meyer Graham, has become the spot for real power in America and in the world to have a "square meal" of pricey dishes, while plotting such things as control of Brazilian real estate. No wonder "regular" people can't get a seat at it.

Not to worry! FNP has many eyes that are happy to share the news about what they see.

FNP: DONALD GRAHAM, THE LAST QUEEN OF SCOTLAND?

Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, D.C.:

 

Katherine Meyer Graham

FNP has stumbled across some interesting new information that recently surfaced in regard to the late Katherine Meyer Graham. 

As many of our readers know, Mrs. Graham met an untimely demise in Wyoming, when she allegedly stumbled.

Note: some highly placed Wyoming authorities have been, and still are, suspicious about this “accidental” death, and the case may be re-opened as a homicide inquiry.

According to usually informed “Graham watchers,” prior to her unexpected “fall,” Katherine Meyer Graham had hired some of the finest genealogists in American and the U.K. to investigate her various family lines. Included amongst these authorities were top professionals from Burke’s Peerage. According to usually reliable sources, the investigation hit “pay dirt.” An overlooked line through Mrs. Graham’s husband, Philip, was “royal-blue blood.”

Famed historian, Professor Bene’ Brazil, discovered verified documents suggesting that Mary, Queen of Scotland, had a “love child.” According to this new evidence, the queen had a brief ardor for a Spanish dignitary, Lorenzo de Cordoba, who had visited her court on official business of the king. 

Interestingly, Lorenzo was said to be a Marrano that was descended from the Sephardic Jew, Ricardo de Marrakech, a gentleman who came into great prominence at the time of the Muslim Imperium in North Africa. He was a counselor to the Caliph of Cordoba. His wealth and power became great. He was famed for his vision. Professor Brazil has suggested, in fact, that a “love child" of his became the world famous, Nostradamus, whose prophetic vision is studied even today.

The professor has announced his determination to search the line of Ricardo de Marrakech further. Apparently, Ricardo’s father, “Esau the Imposter,” had earned a vile reputation in western North Africa.

Esau the Imposter



This breaking story has surprising importance for our time. If the information obtained by these experts should stand, the late Philip Graham was possessed of a lineage which gave him a claim to be the rightful king of Scotland.

Although the kingdom of Scotland doesn’t exist as a separate, sovereign nation, being part of Great Britain, and it is ruled by the Windsor (nee’ Hanover) queen, Elizabeth II, there have been separatist spirits stirring there for a long time. These spirits in recent times have waxed noticeably. Should a separatist movement engender sufficient force to compel an autonomous state within a state, one that has at least a figurehead king for the sake of tradition and for the sake of providing patriots a point around which they might gather, then serious attention must be given to any heir of Philip Graham, as that rightful king.

The one person whose name has most often been mentioned was Donald Graham, the well-known media mogul. Sometimes referenced as the “Lord of Fifteenth Street,” Donald was comfortable in the realm of riches and power. As a frequent attendee at “Bilderberger” meetings, where royal and rich people, and their servant “eggheads,” gather to schmooze, kvetch and schlep (to the canapé trays), he was quite aware of the culture of European High Society. He, indeed, fitted in well. Informed sources suggested that he would bring his pet “hog” to advise and brief him on the more difficult concepts bandied about by leaders of the ”World Community.” Indeed, the court of “King Graham” might well be filled with former Washington Post employees.

As Professor Brazil asserted, if William the Conqueror could appoint Normans to the lordships of England, why couldn’t King Donald appoint loyal Post pundits to the lordships of Scotland?  

FNP hastens to warn that this excitement about Donald Graham is premature. Whether events unfold in such a way as to create the need for a king in Scotland cannot be known with certainty. Those who make a point of speculating upon such events say that the crown may go to Donald. How the Scot people “personalize” Donnie’s rule can only be guessed at, but at least one expert observer felt that the Scot people might well dub him: “Donald the Strange.”



Donald Graham

 One interested observer noted, strictly “not for attribution,” that Donald’s alleged surgery and identity “makeover” might preclude his being crowned “king.” While no further comment was made, the implication of this informed source seemed to be that Donnie would instead be crowned “Queen of Scotland.” If this be so, then let us all shout: “Long Live the Queen!”




Ricardo de Marrakech

 

FNP: RUMORS ABOUND IN DC THAT DONALD GRAHAM IS NOW A WOMAN

Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, DC:

There have been persistent rumors floating about Washington that the Chairman of The Washington Post Company, Donald E. Graham, was now a woman.


According to one anonymous source, the late Katherine Meyer Graham had kept a stable of Haitian Mandingoes in plush digs near the company offices at 15th & L Streets, NW Washington, D.C. According to this source, Donald fell in love with one of these Haitians. His name was either Emil or Ariel. He was, unfortunately, also Katherine’s favorite lover.

There had been numerous allegations of instability in Donald Graham, but fear of the wrath of this powerful family induced an almost uniform soto voce character to such expressions.

According to one usually reliable source, this triangle became increasingly acrimonious, as Donald’s jealousy toward his mother grew deeper. He suffered from not merely frustration but a deep sense of wanton wounding. His mother could have had any of the Mandingoes. Why did she have to spend all her free time with Emil? There had been a suggestion, according to this source, that Donald grew to believe that his mother was doing it intentionally to spite him, to mock him, and to keep him deprived of the love he sought so urgently.



Knowledgeable observers of this unsavory situation began to fear that something terrible was going to happen. When the first reports of Katherine Meyer Graham’s “accident” in Wyoming were received in the Washington, D.C. area, there were many quick, shared glances amongst those privileged to be part of this great family’s friends, associates, servants, and contractors. These were they who had come to know something of this awkward love triangle.


For all his oddness and instability, Donald Graham had made many strong and useful acquaintances. From his father, Philip L. Graham, he had inherited many close, well-connected C.I.A. officials. Such men were well-accustomed to “odd-balls” and would have thought nothing particularly strange about Donald.


Too, Donald spent a period of time in the military in Vietnam. Many shrewd observers suspected that he worked for the C.I.A. clandestinely. Rumors of drug-dealing naturally arose, given the assumed C.I.A. connection.


When he returned to the U.S.A., Donald briefly joined the D.C. Metropolitan police. Several anonymous observers believed that he had made private contacts amongst the most promising young officers, sealing these relationships over the years. Most of these observers believed that Donald had been able to influence the decisions about which police officer went to which key department within the Metropolitan police organization. These relationships, sources suggested, would gain for Donald access to men who would be willing to do just about anything for the right “payday.”


His position at The Washington Post, his relationship with the C.I.A., and his relationship with the Metropolitan Police Department provided Donald Graham with levers for “hushing” or “covering up” matters that ordinary mortals could not. Not even Katherine Meyer Graham had such connections.


The death of Katherine Meyer Graham had surprised many. Mourners would stop by the imposing Graham estate to pay their respects. Some would later report that Donald had been upstairs in seclusion. They reported hearing him wailing at his loss, but a few of these had observed that the sounds were more like “cackling.”


Knowledgeable observers of the Washington, D.C. scene have sworn that Donald moved into the plush digs where the Haitian Mandingos had lived. According to these anonymous reporters, Donald sent all the Haitians home, excepting Emil.


Unfortunately, the old triangle existed as a shadow, because Emil had a genuine, sensual love for Katherine. According to a highly-placed Graham-family observer, distraught by this lingering intrusion of his mother into his love-life, he had promised Emil that he, Donald, would become like “Mother.”


More than a few people had been aware of the alleged “prostate” operation which Donald underwent. Such operations have occurred each year in the United States in the scores of thousands, give or take. Most of these operations had been what they had been said to have been. Yet, in the case of Donald Graham, something different was said to have occurred. Anonymous but usually reliable sources state unequivocally that special surgeons had been present. It was said that they had brought along their own special nurses. Further, according to knowledgeable medical personnel, there were pieces of equipment brought into the operating room never used for a simple prostate removal procedure. They hadn't known what such devices were used for. Furthermore, hardly had the prostate operation reached a level of immediacy, when all the regular surgeons were replaced by these other doctors. The regular doctors had walked out of the operating room, along with the nurses who usually assisted at such operations. They were replaced by a team of surgeons who had flown from Switzerland just to operate on Donald. Lastly, the operation on Donald Graham took far more time than a typical prostate removal would have taken.

Although the matter has not been conclusively determined, as Donald Graham has refused all suggestions that a neutral medical specialist check his postoperative condition, rumors about a sex-change operation have grown. There were rumors that he may have had a realistic, penial-scrotal prosthesis constructed, perhaps from molds of his actual, original equipment. The great wealth of the Graham family made such a fantasy operation actually achievable. The great power of The Washington Post made a “cover-up” plausible. Having friends in high places at the C.I.A. and the D.C. Metropolitan Police, can’t hurt. Further, there could be no doubt that the elite like to hang out together, preferably behind high walls or fences and guarded by well-trained security, whose price tag made them available only to the rich. The rich were special and, perhaps, strange.

There was, perhaps, this last item. The quality of this report was not so solid, however. There was a source that stated emphatically that Donald and Emil lived together as often as possible in the plush digs originally provided by Katherine Meyer Graham. Emil was said to be very happy about Donald’s operation. Lastly, this source claimed that they loved to watch Richard Widmark films together.  



Richard Widmark



Some FNP readers may object that this story isn't hard news. To some it may appear to be the sort of thing one might encounter on Entertainment Today and not suited to a great news outlet such as FNP. However, the "movers and shakers" in America deserve to be accorded special attention. People such as Donald Graham aren't like you and me. The people must know.



Donald Graham



FNP: POLICE EYE DONNIE LINK TO CHANDRA



Donald Graham



Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, D.C.: 

This is a breaking story. FNP has learned that Donald Graham has become a "person of interest" in the Chandra Levy case.

A very high source in the California State Attorney's Office, who requested anonymity for this information, confirmed that Mr. Donald Graham was thought to be involved in the death of Chandra Levy.

FNP has sounded out our West Coast contacts to get a better picture of how things stand. Our best sources agree that data had been gathered by California police, which established a circumstantial connection between Mr. Graham and Ms. Levy, and that it will be revealed to the proper Washington, D.C. authorities soon.

One of the sources in the West Coast investigation was thought to be Patty "Machine Gun" Hearst, who has had a longtime friendship with the strange Donnie Graham. This media mogul would not return FNP's telephone calls to Hearst Publications.

Nevertheless, FNP has been able to piece together a very general understanding of the facts of the case and the issues at law.

By now most people were aware of Chandra Levy's relationship with Congressman Gary Condit. It was an illicit affair, as Condit was married. Why would the young intern get intimately involved with Representative Condit? 

As we have suggested in the past, one scenario involving Ms. Levy was that she was enlisted by the Mossad, the Israeli intelligence agency famed for its deceit in pursuit of a successful mission. If in fact she was a tool of the Mossad, her part in its mission would be to spy on Rep. Condit, who headed a House Subcommittee on Intelligence. It has been said that we live in an Age of Information. Control of information was power. Intelligence was the key to control.

Chandra Levy

Assuming Ms. Levy was devoted to the Israeli State, her devotion to its cause was probably complete. She would give up her body, if it would bring security to the Jewish State. She was a soldier.

However, if Ms. Levy "fell for" Rep. Condit unexpectedly, then she might be deemed a toxic asset by the Mossad. Then it might be necessary to terminate Ms. Levy and blame the crime on a patsy.

By using advanced forensic counterfeiting, Chandra's simulated teeth, DNA, bones and clothing could be hidden at a remote part of the Rock Creek Park. Counting on D.C. Metropolitan Police to be reluctant to search thick out-of-the-way terrain, the Mossad could let the "remains" weather according to local conditions. Then they could send an operative to walk the dog in that remote area, and, in the process he would discover her "remains," notifying police soon thereafter.

The Mossad would count on the U.S. Park police to arrive first. Observation of their work in the Vince Foster case would have made the Mossad confident that they would quickly fall for the ruse.

However, there was also the possibility that the Mossad might view Chandra Levy as a "diamond in the rough" who merely needed to be educated and refined in her craft. In this scenario the real Chandra Levy might actually have been taken to the Israeli state, where she could be trained for additional espionage - possibly in Europe or the Levant. With her hair dyed blonde, only her parents would be able to reckonize her, but they would not be looking, as they would think that she was dead.

The Israeli Embassy has refused to comment on this issue.

In the past we offered a second scenario, and it is this scenario that interested the West Coast authorities. Our scenario went thusly:

Chandra Levy had been a journalist major in college. Although such a degree would make Ms. Levy even more interesting to the Mossad, they might not be alone. Katherine Meyer Graham was the head of one of the nation's most successful media empires, led by The Washington Post. The Post undoubtedly had an eye out for promising young journalists. 

Katherine Meyer Graham



One can easily imagine Katherine Meyer Graham inviting some key representatives to the Post penthouse for "off the record" discussions. Among these might well be Rep. Condit. Perhaps on another occasion such as a gala for some worthy cause, Katherine Meyer Graham might encounter Rep. Condit, who would be seen escorting Chandra Levy, as his wife might have taken ill and bid him to "get a gal from the office to go with you."

FNP had speculated that Mrs. Graham had liked the young intern at once. Learning that she had a degree in journalism, Katherine Meyer Graham most certainly would have urged her to consider a career at The Washington Post. She probably invited Chandra to a private party - "Just us girls!" - so that Rep. Condit would not be offended nor offer objection.

The gathered evidence pointed to a budding love affair between the powerful Katherine and the bright young Chandra. One highly regarded Graham-watcher told FNP that Mrs. Graham shared with Chandra her fear of Donnie. According to this source, the plucky Chandra was incensed at the thought of anyone hurting Katherine.

If this speculation proved to be correct, then immediately it would have establish a dangerous triangle of Katherine, Chandra and Donnie. Sources close to the Graham family have maintained that Donald Graham was insanely jealous of his mother. He had seen her take away one lover, and now she was betraying the memory of Phillip Graham, who had died under suspicious circumstances, when he appeared to be planning to steal The Washington Post from Katherine, divorce her, and take up with his mistress.

FNP underlines this point: It was not a same-sex issue.

Donald Graham had proven to be an amiable oddball, who had accomplished little in life on his own. His lush, hedonistic lifestyle did not commend him as a workaday prospect. Yet, some Graham observers have maintained that Donnie's personality had changed over the last few years. It was a darker, brooding one.

Surely, Donnie must have worried about his future. If his mother gave The Washington Post to her new protege, Chandra Levy, what would become of Donnie?

According to Graham watchers, at a dinner party given by Katherine, Donnie had met Chandra, who had laughed at him. These sources stated that Donald had fled to his room, locked the door, and watched Richard Widmark movies. Sometimes, these sources claimed, they had hear "cackling" sounds coming from Donald's room.

These, then, were the steamy conditions surrounding the "triangle of passion."

The case preparation in California suggested that Donnie had lured Chandra Levy to his apartment on some pretext. After she had arrived, either Donald, or Emil, or both strangled Ms. Levy. They waited until dark. Then they stealthily carried her in a box to a large SUV, wherein they shoved the box. They drove toward the west side of the wooded area of Rock Creek Park. They parked and watched. 

When it was clear that no one was about, they proceeded. Although Chandra Levy was a short woman and slender, authorities speculated that Emil carried the body on his shoulder. It was likely that a blanket or quilt covered her body. Even if the police drove near, they would not likely bother them, supposing that some sort of romantic interlude was imminent.

California Police speculated that Donnie led the way, using a small flashlight now and then as they proceeded into the thick, viney woods. When a suitable spot was found by Donnie, he signaled Emil. The huge Haitian Mandingo would then drop the body at the indicated spot. Immediately, the body would be "lost" in the grass, brush and vines.

Whether Donnie and Emil lingered nearby to provide a credible "cover story" cannot be known at this time.

FNP has learned from well-established Graham-watchers that Katherine Meyer Graham was very agitated during this time period. Privately, she must have been very worried about Chandra's absence. There have been unofficial reports of her frantically calling Rep. Condit, the Levy family, and her close advisors to find Chandra. Her life had had to endure so much, and now Chandra!

After his stint in Vietnam where Donnie was rumored to have assisted the C.I.A. in the Golden Triangle, he returned to Washington, D.C., where he briefly worked as a police officer with the Metropolitan Police. There, he made some lifelong friends, and he was able to help them in their careers as police officers over the years. The Washington Post was known to be close to the leadership of the Metropolitan Police, just as it was close to those at the C.I.A. and at the Pentagon.

Due to the D.C. Metropolitan Police considering Donnie "one of them," no investigation of Donald Graham as a potential "person of interest" had been initiated to this date. Usually reliable sources on the police beat have reported to FNP that they have heard nothing. Our own investigation has turned up no local investigation of Donald Graham.

Recently, cub reporters at The Washington Post have published a "complete" book on the "Chandra Levy murder."

Cathy Weymouth

Many have viewed the book as a Catharine Weymouth-engineered attempt to throw any investigators off the scent of Uncle Donald Graham. Its timing was a bit too perfect, as the Latino "patsy" was about to get his day in "kangaroo" court.

Has Donald Graham gotten away with it?

If Katherine Meyer Graham did learn of Donnie's involvement, then she must have known that she was in danger. Only a couple of months had passed since Chandra's unexplained disappearance, when the world learned of Katherine's "accidental fall" in Wyoming. California authorities realised that the triangle was crumbling before their eyes.

FNP will keep our eyes on this story.