THE OBAMA CAMELOT

The recent coverage of President Obama has appeared to be a conscious effort to associate him and his wife, Michelle, with the late President John F. Kennedy and his First Lady, Jacqueline, and their "Camelot Reich." The media has given Mr. Barack Obama a generally enthusiastic reception. There are great hopes expressed for his success in "changing" America. Beneath the glamour and the image of decisiveness resides the reality. He almost seems to be following a script.


Many of us who remember those Kennedy presidential days can still "see" the President, his brothers, family and friends out in the yard playing as vigorous a brand of football as they could muster. Rafer Johnson, the Olympian, or Rosy Greer, the professional football player, might well be there, joining in the fun. They all seemed youthful and energetic.




Today, Barack Obama likes to "toss at the hoops." He is seen, sometimes, practicing for the fun and challenge with top college squads. He probably has done a few "one on ones" with the Wizards professional basketball team. Again, the public sees a young, vigorous man at play, who is also that confident, cool politician and statesman they see, also, on television.




At this point in time President Obama has faced down Mr. Wagner of General Motors, much as President Kennedy faced down the head of the U.S. Steel Corporation early in his administration. Although it may not presently be known, at the time of John F. Kennedy's administration, U.S. Steel was a very powerful, central industry in America. Not only was it powerful, it was the "point man" for a solid rank of powerful steel companies, such as Bethlehem Steel, Republic Steel, et al. None of these companies were "beggar corporations," whose extended hand could easily be twisted. These steel companies had a bevy of supporting corporations which were part of the steel making and distribution process, such as mining companies at one end and finished tool-makers, construction, and other end-product users. Needless to say, this show of "presidentiality" by Mr. Kennedy made him seem even stronger and "King Arthuresque."




Camelot! Every day was the first day of Spring!


Yet, there were villains out there that had to be faced down. Fidel Castro became an obsession at the Kennedy White House, just as Osama bin Laden is to become an obsession of Mr. Obama's. Beyond that annoyance, President Kennedy had to confront the leaders of the U.S.S.R. over apparent nuclear missiles which Fidel had welcomed to his "Comradedom," Cuba.




My belief is that something of the same work is afoot in regard to Iran. Although the Russian people were able to break free of the "iron egg" of the U.S.S.R. and once again take their place among the self-ruling nations of the world, they remained as nuke-potent as ever. If they did not plant nuclear missiles on Iranian soil, they have sold them high-tech, non-nuclear missiles and other weapons. They have also apparently counseled the Iranians in certain areas of nuclear fuel processing, including upgrading to heavier forms of radioactive material. Hence, there seems to be a not-so-rough comparison between the Cuba-U.S.S.R. nexus during the John Kennedy years and the Iran-Russia nexus of Barack Obama's. Of course, Iran isn't "next door." Still, in an age when the North Atlantic Ocean is relentlessly referenced as a "pond" by media, Iran may seem only a "couple of blocks away."




Oddly, contemporary Russia may not be the only source of nukes. One can imagine an unraveling in Pakistan, resulting in a leadership friendly toward Iran and willing to share nuclear weapons.




Nor is the U.S.A. the only force that might be willing to confront the Iranian nuclear ambition. Not only is the Israeli state possessed of the fourth most powerful military force in the world - at least in terms of short-term warfare, it has stated publicly and privately that the Iranian situation was becoming intolerable and incompatible with its very existence. Beyond that, if Pakistan evolved politically into an Iranian "pal," then the nuclear-armed India might be drawn into an axis with the Israeli state to end their mutual problem with "extreme prejudice." The "I & I threat" to Middle Eastern peace might be quite real in the not-so-distant future.




As the "new kid on the block," Mr. Obama knows that he'll be tested.




Hence, the bright, vigorous days of Mr. Obama's administration may be doomed. Just as Mr. Kennedy began to show the pressure and burden in his face, so I expect will be the case for Mr. Obama. It's a tough job. Let's hope the parallel ends there.




March, 2009

FNP: MICHELLE ANNOUNCES FARM EXPANSION

Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, DC:

NEWS BRIEFS

FNP has learned from sources within the White House that First Lady Michelle Obama has obtained a five-year, renewable lease on a certain verdant section of the Mall. According to our source, her purpose is to expand her share-cropping program on the White House lawn, which gave Washington, D.C. children an opportunity to work in the field as many of their ancestors did.

The First Lady’s success with children share-croppers has encouraged her to expand the scope of her experimental garden. The demand for White House veggies far exceeded the available produce. Michelle has vowed not to “tax” away the children’s share so as to meet this unexpected demand from all across the globe. Requests from Buckingham Palace and the Imperial Palace of Japan, as well as the Vatican, indicate the scope of the demand for White House veggies.

Needless to say, the price of White House veggies has “sky-rocketed” in the face of this demand. However, at this time there has been no move to regulate these commodities by any agency. FNP has heard rumors that some of the share-cropper children have hired agents to handle their shares of the veggies.

Therefore, with the advice and consent of President Obama, the First Lady quietly explored the possibility of using suitable Mall land. After weeks of discussion among White House staffers and those of Capitol Hill figures, as well as certain Executive Departments, the “green light” was given to the use of Mall land near the White House south lawn.

At this time First Lady Michelle Obama is working with staffers to increase the opportunities of becoming a White House share-cropper for all American kids. Further, a program to bring in foreign children as guest share-croppers is being considered.

One anonymous newshound has ventured to guess that, if Michelle Obama continued to whirl peas at this rate, she may well join her husband, Barack, as a Nobel Prize winner.

FNP: STORKING THE WHITE HOUSE

Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, D.C.:

Among seasoned newshounds working the White House beat, there have been many tense discussions during the last year of the George W. Bush Administration. The focus of these discussions has been Condoleezza Rice, the former Secretary of State.
For most Americans the whole matter was totally unknown. Many journalists were unaware of the issue. What are we talking about?

Let's just say that FNP has been "storking the White House" for more than a year. What got us "twittering" at the Bushes? Diapers!

FNP has been able to establish beyond doubt that the Bush Administration had tried to dispose of incriminating diaper evidence through clandestine means. The C.I.A. was used to launder the many soiled diapers that had been collected by the Secret Service and held under seal in a room in the basement of the White House. Why?

After many months of digging, FNP newshounds were able to eliminate everyone but Condoleezza Rice and President Bush. FNP's executives made the decision that this story was too big to bury. We put some very good reporters on this assignment.
About one year before the Bush Administration passed the baton to President-Elect Obama, many Washington journalists and camera-carters began to talk about "Condi's weight gain." There was a blossoming of weight about her waist that continued for several months. Then, suddenly, the Secretary of State vanished. Her whereabouts could not be learned, even by the closest of State Department beat reporters.

FNP had even written a brief column speculating that she had gone to the Middle East to arrange a meeting in a suitably neutral cave between President Bush and Osama bin Laden. This was about the time that candidate Barack Obama was visiting Pakhistan, also seeking a meeting with the al Qaeda chieftain.

As suddenly as Secretary Condoleezza Rice had vanished from official Washington, she reappeared. In truth, only several days were involved. When she surfaced, it was at the State Department, where she was seen greeting diplomatic figures from Saudi Arabia. What amazed the reporters covering this beat was that she was so thin. She was as thin as ... as ... well, as old Condoleezza Rice had been. This was a real headscratcher for journalists.

Further, FNP had learned from an old friend in Texas, who requested anonymity, that there was talk among Texas newshounds that W. was "up to something" with Condi. The word was that Condi would arrive in a long, black limousine on a Friday night at the W. ranch in Crawford. No one would see her or W. again until the long, black limousine reappeared on Sunday night. Condoleezza Rice would quickly dart into the limousine, and it would then speed away.

FNP agreed with our Texas friend that there was a story here. We ramped up our investigation, and made it known around Washington that we were interested in any sound contribution to our effort. We were known to be generous to our friends. And we never divulged our sources.

We got two quick breaks. According to a usually reliable source covering the social side of Washington for a well-known magazine, there had been a private gathering in north Georgetown. She had been invited. When she got to the gathering, she noticed the Bush daughters, who, she reported, were feeling no pain. She overheard one say to the other: "This beats changing W.C.'s diapers." At the time she puzzled over what she had heard. It did not seem to make sense.

Next came the mysterious envelope. With FNP's reputation it - the envelope - didn't really surprise our executives in retrospect. However, at the time there was that tingle of anticipation. Someone had stuck an envelope through our "after-hours" delivery slot at the office. FNP would later learn that a Secret Service Agent had provided the envelope.

It was our assistant researcher, Dollie Daugherty, who picked up the envelope and opened it as she went to her desk. She told her peers at FNP that she was astonished to see a picture of a baby. Searching the envelope, she discovered a small note that said: "My Daddy's in the White House." It was signed "W.C."

After the executives at FNP saw it, bells began to ring. The decision was made to redouble our efforts. That was when we found that the going was getting tough. We pressed as hard as we dared but could not unravel the strange string of events.

Other strange events followed.

Secretary of State Rice had become the "toast of the town" after she had met with Osama bin Laden in a cave in Pakhistan. Their "frank" discussions over three days had been intense, with reporters covering the event testifying in stories printed in world-class newspaper that they were alone for extended periods of time. They said that from time to time they could hear what seemed to be shouting or crying from both.

Curiously, pundits back in Washington observed that Condi was gaining weight again. It was dismissed as too much "wining & dining" at diplomatic galas which were nearly daily events in Washington, as well as many other places. Seasoned reporters noted how such "partying" had ruined the health of William Jefferson Clinton.
After Barack Obama became President-Elect, the transition teams began to work for a smooth change of players. Secretary Rice, who became very obese during the last month of W.'s presidency, was a leader of this transition period. She almost lived at the White House during this period.

FNP watched these events closely. Two more pieces of journalistic luck occurred that helped us unravel the mystery. One, when President Bush and First Lady Laura turned over the White House to Barack and Michelle Obama, Condoleezza Rice was present. What got FNP's attention was that she was quite thin. She seemed to glow. She looked fit and happy.

Many journalists conceded that she had a tough job which she did very well indeed. Naturally, handing over the responsibilities must have taken a great burden from her shoulders. Of course, she would be happy.

However, at FNP journalistic antennae were raised high. Then, the second event occurred. The Obama Administration was only a few days beyond a month in power. We got a call from a very high contact at the C.I.A., who told us to look for a package in a trash can on the street corner one block away. He told us to look for one marked "W.C.'s unwanteds."

This message was too curious not to investigate. Many of our older reporters recalled the "Deep Throat" period of journalism. Only recently was the identity of "Deep Throat" discovered to be Bernadine Dorhn, who had been introduced to the Graham family by Ms. Squeaky Fromme, who acted at the behest of Ms. Patty Hearst.

As a matter of fact, FNP honcho, Anthony Eaglewolf, went to the designated trash can and dug for the described envelope. Both surprised and relieved, he brought the envelope back unopened. It was large and more of a package than envelope. The message written on it was in black marker ink.

Back at the FNP office he set the package on a table. A dozen newshounds gathered about it. Anthony opened it with a small box-opening knife. The moment it opened, it emitted a dreadful odor. Anthony dumped its contents on the table. A small mound of Pampers were suddenly formed. We photographed the evidence. Then Anthony Eaglewolf ordered reporters and photographers to begin a general search of trash cans near the White House, looking for packages that were identical to the one just opened. That night a score of trash cans yielded packages of Pampers.
There was a new mystery that was born that night. Some of the packages were marked "W.C.'s" but others were marked "O.C.'s." The staff at FNP looked at each other. What do these initials mean? Something strange was going on!

Not two days had passed, when once again, Dollie Daugherty noticed an intriguing envelope in FNP's delivery slot. It looked just like the odd envelope that had had the picture that stirred up the FNP brass. She picked it up and went to her desk. She opened it. She removed a photo that had a small note stuck to it. It read: "My 'Daddy's' in the White House." It was almost the same message she had read before. Yet, there was a different signature. This message was signed "O.C." She looked at the picture. It was not the same baby. There was a new baby picture. She hurried to the executive offices at the top of the FNP Building.

A few FNP executives were meeting in a large chamber to discuss, as it happened, the strange events at the White House. Dollie burst into the room. Although a bit annoyed at first, one look at Dollie and they knew it was important. She handed one of them the envelope with the picture and note. The contents were soon revealed to the gathered news mavens.

One of them, Jasper Bain, looked triumphantly at the others and said: "The mystery at the White House is solved. Gentlemen, I present to you another love-child in the White House. We have a case of the same hole but different poles!"

FNP has made several efforts to interview Condoleezza Rice, Osama bin Laden and W. None have returned our telephone calls. The Obama White House has refused to affirm or deny the presence of love-children at the White House. Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel has indicated to the press that his lips were sealed.